Saturday, 4 August 2012

Scooby Doo for President!

Let's Put Man's Best Friend in the White House, Where He Belongs!

The American public has watched, and loved, Scooby Doo since 1969, when he debuted on CBS Saturday mornings, from the Hanna-Barbara Studios. 

Scooby Doo was a direct result of parental groups who were protesting the gratuitous violence on children’s cartoon shows; CBS and Hanna Barbara teamed up to present a children’s cartoon show with engaging characters that was not overtly violent.  They came up with Fred, Daphne, Velma, Shaggy, and Scooby Doo, who was the best-conceived and best-received of all the characters on the show.

Scooby Doo’s main characteristic is a prudent caution when confronted with unfamiliar situations and species.  Also his undying affection for soybeans in the form of Scooby Snacks.

Yes, after many years of the utmost secrecy, it can now be revealed that the famous Snacks are made of 100% American-grown and processed soybean meal!  These Snacks have kept Scooby Doo healthy and youthful looking, just like Ronald Reagan.

And I’m glad we brought up the former President Reagan.  He was a Hollywood character who was not taken very seriously by the Beltway types in Washington, DC, but he eventually showed all the snobs and nay-sayers that even a humble Hollywood star could ascend to the highest office in the land.

That being said, it is time to give serious thought to Scooby Doo as President!
Let’s look at the record:
  • While other candidates have spent their early years in college and and making obscene amounts of money, Scooby Doo was of material help to the American public by solving mysteries such as The Zonky Zombie, The Blogging Blob, and The Tweeting Tornado. 
  • Scooby Doo needs no financial war chest to campaign; he’s on a dozen channels every day already, so if he chooses to run he can just kick back and talk directly to the Americapn public without having any obligations to perfidious PACS.
  • Scooby Doo is extremely well-traveled; he’s been all over the world, solving cases such as The Case of the Scottish Scab and The Case of the Thai Troll.  And he never puts his foot, or, rather, his paw, in his mouth!
  • As noted above, Scooby Doo is a fanatical soybean meal eater, in the form of Scooby Snacks.  Once he is in the White House he will give unstinted help to every soybean farmer in the land, and there will be a soybean in every pot in America!
  • Can’t you just see Fred as Secretary of Defense, Daphne as Ambassador to the UN, Velma as Secretary of the Treasury, and Shaggy as head of the FDA?
Further words on the subject would be merely superfluous.  Anyone with an ounce of brains and a bag of Cheesy Weezies knows there is only ONE logical candidate this season.  It’s time to put a character in the Oval Office who has integrity, magnanimity, intelligence, and a flea collar!


Tim Torkildson is president of the Rhode Island branch of The Scooby Doo Fan Club and a former Scooby Snack hunter, which led him to places such as 

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